Confessions of a So-Called Foodie

April 1st, a day for gags and jokes of all kinds, is not really my cup o'tea. I think I'm usually pretty entertaining in real life--we do so love to laugh--but planning an elaborate hoax has never been a strength. So, instead of trying to trick you, I thought some pure honesty might be in order. After all, truth is almost always more entertaining than fiction!

You'd think that, as a foodie and a foodblogger, that I would love all foods trendy and popular. That I would embrace all edibles raved by famous chefs seems a certainty. The reality, however, is far different. There are things that I'm afraid to eat, others that I just don't like. Oh, yes--like everyone, I have my own, special brand of finickiness. This is something I don't tell everyone, so consider yourselves lucky, y'all.

For true, unfashionable transparency, here is my top 10 list of foods that I should love--but loathe:


10. Rare meat. If there's blood, I don't want it. Pink, sure--but not bloody.

9. Kale, in anything or by itself.

8. Offal of any kind. Unless it's ground into gravy where I can't identify it, or liver into liverwurst. Go figure.

7. Proper fondue. I mean the real stuff, eaten right in Switzerland. I was there, I tried it, and I didn't like it.

6. Fish skin. Oh, just gag me now. Crispy or not, it's where all the nutrition is... but it's just so icky.

5. Water chestnuts. Styrofoam, anyone?

4. Sushi, sashimi and all things raw seafood. That includes oysters. Have you lost respect for me yet?

3. Most olives and capers. I can eat one or two without gagging, but I don't really like them--especially those really good, brined ones. The only olives I seem to enjoy are those rubbery black ones that come out of a can.

2. Brie and camembert--I've tried them over and over again and while the interior is tolerable, it's the funk factor from the rind that gets me.

1. Salmon, in all forms. I've tried--believe me, I've tried, if only for the sake of nutrition (and coolness). I've even cooked it for guests to rave reviews. But I just. Don't. Like it.


So there you have it: proof that my foodie card should probably be revoked.